Top 10 Christmas Movies

Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the Corndogger Blog of Awesomeness is so delightful.  The web sound is turned down low…let awesomeness flow, let it flow, let it flow.  Happy holidays fellow Corndoggers.  Hopefully you have enjoyed the other top 10 movie lists that have been posted so far (if you have no idea what I am talking about then click on the Movies and TV category link on the right).  A few folks have asked for our take on the top 10 holiday or Christmas movies to help them with their holiday couch surfing.  So, the ol Corndogger dusted off the VCR and spit shined the DVDs and has compiled the ultimate in holiday viewing pleasure…without the Ron Jeremy films.  So take a read and enjoy.  Be sure to click the images or links to be taken to more info about the film (and while you are there and feel so inclined then you can purchase it too).  Drop us an email if you have any more suggestions for film rankings that you would like to see.  It worked for this one.  So those who asked, here ya go…those who didn’t ask…well here you go too.  Enjoy the awesomeness Corndoggers!!!

Top 10 Christmas Movies

 10. The Nightmare Before Christmas – PG – This sure as hell isn’t your parents Disney.  Tim Burton crafts together a modern masterpiece of stop-motion animation with this new era holiday classic.  The scenes are a wonderful and dark sight full of fabulous imagery, musical pieces, and storyline.  The citizens of Halloweentown kidnap Santa to take over Christmas town and attempt to handle the holiday, which of course they make a complete mess of. 

 9.  How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer – G – Ok Ok I know these aren’t really movies as they are all only half hour shows, but if you string them all together they would (in theory) make a full length film time slot.  I mean seriously folks, how on Earth could you make a best holiday movie list and not somehow find a way to sneak these wonderful classics in.  Honestly, my personal favorite of these would have to be How the Grinch Stole Christmas.  The voice over narration by Boris Karloff is reason enough alone to see this one.  I actually used to have the book and record set when I was a kid and would listen to it constantly (explains a lot I know).

 8. Miracle on 34th Street (1941) – G – Let’s put the Fat man himself up on trial in a court of law to determine if he really is Santa Clause.  I tell you what, if this film doesn’t eerily forecast our over-litigious society then by all means nothing does.  If you don’t believe in Santa Claus after watching this film my lil’ Corndoggers…then you can suck a lump of coal out of my arse.  Srsly.  Something may just be wrong with you.

 7. Gremlins - PG – What does this have to do with Christmas?  Well he gets the lil Mogwai for Christmas for one.  Second, the little Gremlins run amuck thru the town and shopping mall in the snow and with Christmas decorations all over the place.  So accept that this made the best holiday movie list and we can move on.  The film was a classic movie icon of the 80s.  It’s gotta make some kinda list out there.  Besides, it has 80s hottie Pheobe Cates in it (sorry no boobs so you’ll have to see Fast Times at Ridgemont high for that). 

 6. Scrooged – PG13- Modern day adaptation of the Dickens classic “A Christmas Carol”.  Bill Murray stars as a modern day Scrooge television executive and gets the visits by the ghosts of Christmas present, past, and future.  Realizes he’s an asshole and changes his ways yada yada yada.  Along the journey though there are some funny moments and some heartfelt ones too.  Don’t make the corndogger get all misty now.  Don’t do it.

 5. Die Hard – R – Yippee Ki Yay lil Corndoggers.  Aight this one is actually more of a stretch to make a best of holiday movies list than the Gremlins.  See I can admit it, but can you admit that it does somewhat apply…in a very loose way?  John McClane is on a plane to visit his separated wife at her company…wait for it…wait for it…exactly…Christmas party.  Lots of holiday cheer and merryment going on, office folks are getting it on, doing some blow then BAM!! terrorists invade in the form of superbad ass accented Alan Rickman who is there to take some treasury bonds without asking.  The extreme levels of awesomeness in this film are almost inconceivable on any kind of chart of awesome.  In reality, to even try to rank this film is a travesty…but hey I gots to do what I gots to do.  The only reason it isn’t first on the list is because it’s not really a traditional Christmas movie.  You do also get a lot of Christmas music thoughout the film.  So it’s got that Christmas goodness going for it there as well.

 4. Bad Santa - R – Ok seriously…I would love to toss out quotes from about 3/4 of this movie…but they would all have the F bomb in it.  This film is off the charts all kinds of wrong and on that note…totally hilarious.  Perfectly cast with Billy Bob Thornton and Tony Cox as a couple of holiday con-men and the great late Bernie Mac as a mall security guard.  Oh and the hot chick from Gilmore Girls is in it too…who happens to get it on with Thornton dressed in a Santa suit…undoubtedly filling some kind of sick twisted childhood fantasy with Santa.  The film is seriously funny but probably not for the lil Corndoggers…or even the really old Corndoggers.  May get a little uncomfortable watching this one on Christmas morning with Grandma and the kids in the room.  Save this one for you and your honey Ms Claus curled up on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniels the night before.  Just make sure to do that after you half-ass put that bicycle together for little Johnny and throw away all the “extra parts”…cause if you want to build that bike after…you’ll prob end up with a lot more “extra parts” and lil Johnny will be riding the bike with a seat post up his ass instead of a plastic nut beating banana thing.

 3. It’s A Wonderful Life – G – Damnit if the Corndogger doesn’t love the hell out of some Jimmy Stewart.  Srsly.  Between this movie and the Hitchcock films he did, the man just screams all kinds of awesomeness.  Everyone has seen this film so no need for some boring ass two or three sentence recap on the plot.  Ok fine…suicide attempt…bank loans and stuff…vandalism of a rock in a window…marries some old school looking hottie…angel gets wings.  The wells on the Corndoggers face start flowing.  Damn this movie is good.  The end.

  2. A Chistmas Story – PG – I’d be willing to place money that I could put either this movie or the next one in the top slot in the ol DVD player…put the movie on mute…and can go thru the entire film line by line delivering the quotes myself.  This movie is an absolutely brilliant film from casting, to direction, to voice over work, to the fantastic backdrop of the 1940s.  I would imagine there aren’t a whole lot of folks out there that haven’t actually seen this movie by now seeing as how I think TBS or one of the other Turner networks runs it just about non-stop from Thanksgiving thru Christmas.  You are pretty much hard pressed to not find it on at least one channel at any given point within that timeframe.  If you haven’t seen the film, you should emerge out from whatever hole or cave you have been hiding in and watch this film and Christmas Vacation immediately.  Never before in the history of the world has one little boy wanted “an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle (BB Gun) with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time” more than this kid…ever.

 1. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation – PG13 – Seeing as how you didn’t see this movie in any of the previous slots…I’m sure you had to of guessed it would be sitting in the top slot.  I’m sure all the AFI or other boring ass official lists out there would have It’s a Wonderful Life in the top slot with even a Christmas Story above this one…but I just love this movie.  L. O. V. E. love it.  Not a scene goes by in watching this film for probably the 50th plus time, that I still don’t laugh out loud (hell I just laughed right now thinking about the film).  The Clark Griswold character is without a doubt the best of Chevy Chase’s career (followed by Fletch and then Ty Webb).  This film is actually the third installment of the Vacation series and could quite possibly be the best one.  Griswold tries so hard to give his family the best vacation or Christmas experience possible…but God bless him…is just destined to fail…over…and over…again.  No matter how many times you have seen this movie or no matter what time of year it is…it is always a good time to bust out Christmas Vacation and enjoy the Griswold family antics.  This is a must own film in your DVD collection for sure.  Srsly funny awesomeness my friends.  Side note as I’m here to look out for you guys…avoid like the friggin Herp the sequel to this.  Yes there was a Christmas Vacation 2.  It is so bad…words can not describe the shittyness of it.  Consider yourself warned.

Of course, we can’t fit em all in…so here are some others that didn’t make the cut, but are worth watching for sure.

Honorable Mentions

Go – R – Slightly off beat film with a pretty good sized cast of assorted nobodys to only partial-bodys at the time it was made.  Movie follows a few different storylines that all weave together to form the complete picture of what happened one evening.

Polar Express – G – Lots of folks love this film and love the book.  Never read the book personally though so can’t comment on that.  The film though is some seriously impressive (although sometimes kinda creepy) CGI realism. 

Home Alone – PG – This one would probably make the top ten list…if that blond kid whose name I can’t spell and lack the motivation to look up right now wasnt involved in it.  It still ranks as one of the highest grossing Christmas films in history.  Joe Pesci is fantastic in this film though and worth the price of admission alone.

Elf – PG – Former SNL comedy superstar Will Ferrel throws his hat in the ring for a holiday movie.  Definitely has some really good moments and worth the watch. 

Christmas Carol – G – Tons of versions of this film.  Most folks would say the 1951 B&W version with Alastair Sim is the quintenssial version and the one I have linked.  If you haven’t seen that one then check it out.  A good more modern remake is the version with George C. Scott (yep the Patton dude) or the version with Captain Picard isn’t bad.  The Corndogger personal favorite remakes are both the Muppet and Mickey Mouse ones. 

Trading Places – R – As Daric pointed out in the comments, this one most certainly is worthy of a Christmas notable due to Dan Aykroyd’s drunk Santa scene.  Classic holiday awesomeness. 

White Christmas – G – We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f*cking Kaye.  ‘Nuff said.

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